Potholing - Where Big Men Get Into Small Holes

The Dudley visit Eldon Hole in Derbyshire. With apologies to the Fast Show circa 1993 from which we stole the script, to the Buttered Badger Potholing Club, and to women cavers who everyone knows are equal to or if not better than their male counterparts.

This is a work of fiction and the Buttered Badgers mentioned bear no relationship to the actual Buttered Badgers. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s fevered imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

The video was taken on 13th November 2016.

Return to Nettle pot

Due to the fact that we failed to find Derbyshire Hall on our last trip to Nettle, we decided we would need to return fairly soon while the route was still fresh in our memory.
I had travelled up to the Peaks wearing most of my kit, so on arrival all I had to do was jump out grab the rope and my SRT kit and head off to to start rigging the entrance shaft so as to help speed up getting people down the entrance shaft, so that was that and i was soon at the bottom of the shaft closely followed by the rest of the team, we soon made our way crawling through the sticky mud to the second pitch down, where Mark took over the rigging, then came the rope climbs up and by now it was getting difficult to tell what was SRT kit and what was clay, another short crawl over the far flats followed, and then finally the last pitch down was found - success - Mark went first followed by Major Andy then me, on my arrival at the bottom of the pitch I was called to the front to try Freeze Squeeze as Mark couldn't fit, I tried helmet off and head first, I tried on my back and feet first but it was a no go, I then asked Steve to have a go but he had the same result, I tried again feet first, breath out wiggle a bit breath, I was moving slowly but surely, but then disaster I had a large piece of the roof right in the gonads and my chest was stuck, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't go any further into the crawl, bugger, getting my self out of the crawl wasn't very easy either, so that was that-failed, oh well, we all slowly but steadily made our way back across the mud to the pitches out, and by now we were all a nice shade of brown from head to toe, finally, once we where all on the surface more than a few of us agreed,we wont coming back to nettle again, bl**dy shi*t hole, well not while its still fresh in our memories anyway.

Present: Andy G, Andy K, Mark B, Jess B and Steve W

                                          Nice and clean at the bottom of the entrance shaft

                                                        climbing up from freeze squeeze

Andy climbing up the entrance shaft

Mud Mud & More Mud In Nettle Pot

Having heard tales from Andy and Wal of the tight vertical squeezes Nettle Pot had to offer, when Wal suggested a trip one night at the club I, of course, signed myself and Jess up straight away!

Unfortunately on the day Wal wasn’t feeling well so then there were 3.

We made good time and arrived at around 10am to find 3 cars already parked. Andy was confident that people hardly ever go to Nettle and anyone here would be doing Oxlow or Maskhill. We were half changed when another car pulled up and a women jumped out exclaiming that as there were half naked people by the side of the road she must be in the right place! Turned out she wasn’t a swinger after all and was in fact waiting on yet another party to arrive for Oxlow.

As we finished changing a further 2 cars arrived and some lads jumped out asking if anyone was going to Nettle…. “Yes!”, Andy gruffed and soon packed them on their way sending them off to Giants :)

After trudging up the hill past the entrance to Oxlow we went through the gate and spent 15 minutes looking for the entrance before discovering we had walked straight past it.

Andy rigged and was soon sliding down the narrows in his loveable vocal caving style. I went next and was glad to find them more awkward than tight, especially with Jess's rather splendid idea of extending the stop on a sling from the D ring to hang above us rather than at waist height. 

Reaching the bottom of Bottle Pitch Andy declared he had a splitting headache and that he hadn’t wanted to let us know until he’d got us in the cave. After making sure he had a key and knew where the first aid kit was in the van for tablets he headed out and we headed off down The Flats …..and then there were 2. 

Reaching the levitation pitch at the end of the Flats we found this already rigged, but on inspection of the rope there was a cut in the sheath so we rigged our own and continued down. The traverse over Suicide Pot was also pre-rigged, but proved to be in good condition. Upon reaching the pull through we discovered there was no pull through cord and ropes were already in situ. As this was only a 5m pitch I tentatively went up to check the rigging and found it to be in decent condition for Jess to join me. The 2^nd pull through also turned out to be rigged so again I went up first to check with jess following. 

After a half an hour or exploring the very muddy and wet Far Flats, and not finding anything that could be described as a tight squeeze, we decided we had better head back to Andy. Reaching the head of the 30ft pitch it turned out that to aid her in her prussic up the rope Jess had decided it would be a good idea to tie off the tail of the rope to one of the pull through bolts. Unfortunately in doing this she had made the rope so taught there was no way of threading a stop. The only way down would be to down prussic the muddy rope. 

The exit through the Narrows proved awkward whilst hauling the heavy rope bag beneath me, then to top off Jess couldn’t undo a Krab and I had to do the Narrows again to de-rig!

Reaching the van Andy had a good laugh at the amount of mud we were caked in and upon examination of the guide book we found, although the rigging guide makes no mention of it, we in fact needed to find a 12m pitch down at the end of the Far Flats to find Freeze Squeeze and the way to Derbyshire Hall. Oh well a good excuse for a return visit! :)

Mark entering the 'Narrows'

Jess admiring formations in the 'Far Flats'

Jess sporting a rather fetching mud beard ;)

Present Andy Grimes, Jess Burkey & Mark Burkey

Nettle Pot

Well this time I was adamant that I was going to get into Nettle Pot, but to be honest I wasn't so sure it was the wisest decision I had made once I had reached the bottom of the entrance shaft.
I think the best way I can describe this cave, is one that doesn't like you to get in, and tries even harder to stop you getting out once you are in.
I struggled to get in and if it wasn't for gravity I recon that I would of got stuck on more than one occasion, I almost had my head torn off by my helmet when my helmet got stuck, and my poor old ribs will never feel the same again.
Once I had made the bottom of the shaft I decided I wasn't going to go any further, I was going to save my energy for climbing out.
Steve and Mell had a quick poke around but only Steve went on to the next pitch, after eventually finding the way on while trying to avoid falling into one of the deep pots as he crawled carefully past them.
On the way out I really struggled up the shaft once I had got passed the Sentry Box, as I couldn't bend my legs and ended up just pulling my self up by my arms for most of it, and i've got the blisters to prove it!
I have to say it, it isn't the nicest cave i've been in, but I will go back as I don't like being beaten.



Present: Andy Grimes, Mel Wakeman, Steve Wallis